Hello, my name is Julie and I'm an addict.

My drug of choice? Farmville with a Farm Town chaser. I swear that if I spent the time exercising that I spend farming I would look anorexic.

Did you know that the more neighbors you have the bigger the farm you can own? And I just don't understand this but not everyone I know wants to farm. Go figure. Actually, I had no desire to farm until Jeff's Aunt Serena wore me down. She would not take no for an answer. So, I joined in.

And then the trouble began. I wasn't satisfied with my tiny farm. I needed more neighbors. Or co-dependents as I refer to them. When I ran out of 'real' friends, I made up friends. I am now managing my farm and my fake friends', Doug and Jennifer's farms. That's SEVEN farms all together.

I've never considered myself a competitive person but Jeff is and will readily admit it. His competitiveness has worn off on me. I began farming weeks before him and was out of work for three months but he's still just a few points behind me. But the best part is... I have mastered nine crops. I think he has five. Ha ha ha ha!

Wow, I just reread this. I'm sure that most of you think I'm nuts. I may have to agree with you.

P.S. Sorry this was so sloppily written but I've got crops to harvest.

Making a fool of myself at the company Christmas party.

Why is it that sometimes when I'm nervous my mouth engages before my brain? I swear I could have died of embarrassment tonight.

Here I am trying to make a good impression on the company that I'm working for as a temp-to-hire. This is a Christian based company which means that I'm totally trying not to swear all day long. (It must be working because tonight I was talking to Haldor and I said "Goll" instead of "God". He turns to me and said "Did you just say Goll?)

Haldor and I attended my company Christmas party. I don't like crowds. I feel very nervous around people I don't know. What I usually do when I'm going to be thrown into something like this is take a Xanax. Tonight I forgot the Xanax and I'm kicking myself and don't even want to show my face at work tomorrow.

What happened, you ask? Well, they opened the party with a little intro and then said it's tradition for the new employees to introduce themselves and anyone they have brought with them. And with that.... he shoves a fucking MICROPHONE in my face.

And what do I say, you ask? I don't really remember other than I say OUT LOUD that had I known I was going to have to speak that I would have taken a Xanax before I got there. There were some laughs but I think they were nervous laughs. I'm sure people were saying "Did she just say that?"

Later one of the gals came up to me and said something about me taking a Zantac. No Patty, I don't have heartburn, I have social anxiety.

I said something to my bosses wife (she's also a co-worker) that I wish I would have been warned. She said I probably would have made myself sick all day knowing. I suppose I would have but I would have at least been a little prepared.

I'd really like to just forget the whole thing happened. I also hope that this doesn't ruin my chance for permanent employment. Maybe I'll just be forever known as the girl with the heartburn.

Thank you Santa!

Santa is bringing me an early Christmas present and I couldn't be more thrilled. He's giving me a clean house, privacy and peace of mind. Yes, Gunnar is moving out!

I had finally had it the other day and told him he needed to move out. I've been putting my life on hold for him for too long and I can no longer handle it. He left and didn't return home or speak to me for a few days. Fine by me. I finally spoke to him today and he's no longer mad at me and he's excited to get his own place. Sometime this week he and his friend Aaron are moving into a three bedroom house about a mile from me.

I'm excited! Not just for me but for him as well. And I'm so excited that it's taking all my willpower to not go out and buy him a bunch of stuff. I'm making mental notes of what he will be needing though. And it's an excuse to get me some new stuff.

He needs furniture and what perfect timing. Jeff just bought a new sofa so Gunnar will take his old one. I recently got a new TV stand from Jeff's friends so I will pass on my old Ikea one to Gunnar. He has dishes but needs some drinking glasses. Mine don't match my dishes so I will pack up my old ones and go get some new, prettier ones for myself. I will pass on my old towels and get me some new, fluffy ones that better match my bathroom.

Life seems to be breezing along once again. I've been at my job since, I think, the 15th of November. I'm liking it more and more each day. I'm so busy that the days and weeks are flying by. The commute isn't so bad. Yet. It's so cold and windy here today. I'm not looking forward to driving to work in the snow or ice. They are cool about what time I arrive so I figure on those mornings when it's nasty outside I will try to leave the house a little bit earlier and just take my time getting there.

Not much else to report. Jeff and I are doing fine. I'm getting excited to have him off and home for Christmas this year. I am going to splurge and get a real Christmas tree this year as a special treat for him.

Life is looking up. History has shown that when things are going well something always happens to spoil it. I'm just hoping that I don't get that phone call from Kjersti telling me she's moving home. Gunnar does have a spare room though so maybe he can put her up for awhile.

I'm bringing him out in the open.... with his permission

Yesterday I mentioned a person that I met through the internet who has had a huge impact on my life. This man has been so helpful to me and I really wanted him to know how much I appreciate our friendship. I also didn't know how he would feel about me talking about him. I didn't mention much about him because I respect his privacy.

I received a really nice e-mail from him today thanking me for my kind words. They weren't just words; I was speaking from the heart. So tonight as we were on the phone AGAIN....(every night this week but one), I asked him if I could mention him by name.

So this is with his permission..... most of you know him as Rob...or his blog Frogs For Lunch.

I'm not real sure at this point how I came across Rob but I'm pretty sure it was through Kim. I guess I should be just as thankful for meeting Kim. She brought a really nice person into my life!

Thank you both!

Hello....... is anyone out there?

Hi Peoples!!!

Guess what? I gots me a job! Well, it's not totally official yet. I found it through a temp agency so it's a job but it's not all mine yet.

I have been through a lot lately and this whole job search was about to do me in. With the help of some really wonderful, kind, and loving people (okay, one person) that I happened to meet through the internet, I think I have come out on the other side with a little bit of my sanity still intact.

Not only have I met the love of my life on the internet, I have met someone else and through many e-mails, IM's and phone calls he has talked me through so much shit. I have actually freaked out and cried with this person. I consider him a good and loyal friend. And Jeff knows about him and he's totally cool with that.

So, the job? The first couple days I could have just bolted out the door. Change is difficult and learning new things for me is very frustrating. I walked out the door last Friday (after a day and a half of work) and called Jeff from the car and started bawling. I think it was just all this pent up frustration.

Monday was an okay day even though the girl that's supposed to be training me was sick and gone! She worked half a day on Tuesday and that's when I lost it again. How the hell am I supposed to learn anything if there is no one there to teach me?

Today she worked a full day and spent a lot of time with me. She's a great teacher and I'm beginning to REALLY like her which totally sucks because she's the one I'm replacing!

I knew I wasn't happy in my last job mostly because I was bored and had nothing to do all day except read blogs. And when they blocked Google blogs it really started to suck. This new job? I don't even look at the clock.

There are also a lot of long timers there. You can tell they are really satisfied and happy with their jobs. Hopefully one day I will be considered a 'long timer'.

There are a few things that are unusual about my job. First off, they are a Christian organization. (I wasn't told this when I went on my interview.) Every Monday they hold a prayer meeting from 8am until 8:30. Of course, by law, it's totally voluntary. I think I'll hold off on the meetings for awhile.

At first I was so afraid I was going to say something that would offend someone but so far all I've uttered is one 'shit' and that was under my breath. I've heard a few people say 'praise God', but that's about it. It's not in your face which is a good thing. Don't get me wrong, I go to church..... but only on holidays. I'm not a very good person in that respect but I do believe in God and I don't have a problem with prayer meetings. It's just that I also like to use the word 'fuck' a lot. I haven't said it once at work. I've been on my best behavior and I'm amazed myself at how good I can be!

I think I will get along just fine with my new co-workers but I don't think I'll be doing anything outside of work with these people. Jamie (my friend and co-worker from my last job) and I used to email each other back and forth all day long, and our desks were only about 10 feet apart. Our beloved topic of conversation? Poop! I don't think I'll be discussing poop with anyone there. I guess I can live with that.

So, it's a good job, nice people, room for promotion and the potential to make some good money. They sucky part? It's an hour commute on a good day. It's all freeway driving but it's in our state capital so I'm leaving work when all the state workers are leaving as well. I also have to pass an Army base and an Air Force base on the way home. All those people are leaving at the same time and it really gums up the freeway. Our state has over a 9% unemployment rate. I just need to count my blessings. I could be in traffic driving to the food bank!

Life is getting better and it's good to be back!

Please don't forget about me.

I keep thinking about potential employers finding this site. Actually, I think I'm obsessing about it. These days I'm obsessing about lots of things. I guess that's what I do when I don't have a job to fill my days. And that fucking Farm Ville and Farm Town on Facebook. Jeff's Aunt Serena talked me into it because she needed a neighbor. Now I'm hooked.

I haven't been consistent about checking Sitemeter but I browsed around the other day and it looks like I'm safe so far. But I've decided I need to do something just while I'm looking for a job. So, I will be making this private for a little while beginning on Monday or Tuesday.

I promise I will be back soon... well, I sure hope it's just for a short time or I will be in the local mental hospital if I don't get a job soon.

I've had a couple more interviews and didn't get offered either jobs. It's getting very discouraging and hard to keep up the positive attitude. I have another interview this week. Something has got to happen soon. It just does.

I hope that you won't forget about me. As Arnold says; "I'll be back".

I can be found by a google search, is that going to hurt me?

I've been applying for jobs and was wondering if potential employers could find my blog. I had done a search not too long ago and my page was way down in the google search. I wasn't too concerned. I decided to look again today and I come up on the first page now. Is there any way I can make this private for just my followers only? I don't post anything too bad but do I really want a future boss to know that I get gassy when I get massages?