I logged onto my facebook account this morning and there was a post on Michelle's (my daughter-in-law) page. It said: Things have taken an awful turn You see, they are in New York with my ex. Someone asked what happened and she then said: We're all still alive so I supposed I should be grateful. Well, as far as we know pops is alive.
I was very surprised by my reaction. My heart was in my throat! I immediately called Anders and he didn't answer so I called Michelle's phone and Anders DID answer. I asked what was up with his dad. He said that he had just had enough of New York and took off for the airport to try to get a standby flight home.... three days early.
I'm sure I know what happened. Anders and Michelle are 25 and a young, fun-loving (they like to drink... BOOZE!) couple. They took their 62 year old anti-social, crabby, recovering alcoholic (sober 27 years) father on vacation with them. I knew it was a mistake.
What really surprised me was my reaction that something might be wrong with him. I haven't missed him a single day since he took all his shit and walked out the door. I have thought of him many times and hoped that he could let go of his anger towards me. I no longer love him and for that whole first year I felt bad about not feeling guilty for not wanting to be married to him any longer.
I thought about it later and I guess I was more concerned for Anders having to deal with his father that far away from home if he was sick or injured.
It was just unexpected. Maybe I still do have some compassion for the asshole.
Have You Ever – Volume Three
16 hours ago
I have a close friend who feels the same about her ex. I can completely understand.
ReplyDeleteRegardless of how things end there are always things to look back on that make you appreciate and love the person you first met - even when circumstances change you, them or both.
ReplyDeleteI was also popping by to say I really appreciate the lovely comment you left on my blog. I answered you and I hope you understand what I am saying. It is lovely that you noticed and appreciate the difficulty we have with peoples preconceptions. Our life is not lived in secret - just my blog!!
Thanks again - Your post and comment just goes to show what a special person you are :))
I have a couple of exes. While I would never want to be married to them again, I still care about what happens to them. They were a part of your life at some point, especially if you have a child together.
ReplyDeleteCompassion can be a bitch. You obviously have a big heart!
ReplyDeleteHugs!!
I have a friend who left her physically abusive husband 20 years ago, but when he died, her 3 kids called her to handle the arrangements b/c they were too upset. I watched her get the call, take it gracefully, then hang up and start bawling. "He was an asshole, but I he was my first love, too," she said. She then packed her bags, flew to another state and arranged and paid for everything. She has the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met...and is probably your long lost twin. Glad it was nothing too serious.
ReplyDeleteI also still find that I have compassion for my ex's even though I would NEVER want to be in a relationship with any of the ever again!
ReplyDeleteI think that speaks VOLUMES about the kind of person you are and what you are made of....and its a good thing!